Father's Heart Blog

My small children aside from my beautiful wife mean more to me than anything in this world, I desperately want to make sure I am the best Father I can be for them, but what does that look like? How much of me do they really need? And how much of me can I really give?

This seems to me to be the biggest battle any father faces, the dilemma in wondering if I am spending enough time with my kids and what effect will this have in the future, on our relationship? and just in them as individuals? We all know the Father role is pretty huge, and if you chose to read a blog about Fathering I know you want like me to give your kids the best.

It is not always possible in every situation to do this, work and the need for money can get in the way, though I really don’t think our own personal ambition and drive for career success should get in the way. I grew up to a Father who was busy building an empire and for long periods of time I hated him for it, by God’s grace I have learnt how to love and forgive.

Due in part to my battle scars, I now have a job running a book/coffee house with basic work hours of 9-4, so I have a lot of time at home in the evenings, I have a lot of face time with my kids. The thing I wonder now, is do we have enough quality time? I have to be really intentional to make sure we actually get out and have some fun and not just get in each other’s way at home.

One of my ‘virtual’ mentors Steve Farrar says that you have to have the quantity of time for the quality to kick in and I do think there is a lot of truth in that, my kids need to know that they are high on my schedule and that there is nothing I would rather do than goof around at home with them, then out of that relationship the quality comes! Though I fully believe my relationship with my 3 ½ year old boy is as strong as I wanted it to be, I need to be very careful that I take advantage of and maximise the time with him and his sister that I have carefully created.

So…….What about you? What is your take? Quality vs Quantity?