Father's Heart Blog

I was waiting in line last week at the supermarket, there was a young couple stood in front of me and as they got closer to the counter, a new Xbox game came in to view for the guy’s (I’m resisting calling him a man) line of site. 

He couldn’t hide his excitement and said how he should really get it soon, the first thing his partner (wife/girlfriend I dunno) said was, ‘you can’t get that before Christmas’. He tried to insist he could, continuing to toy with the box in his hand and point out the new features and how good it was.

What I watched reminded me so much of how I would of interacted with my Mum when I was 11 years old, this guy was at least in his mid 20’s and now living with a woman. The sad thing is that he in that instance and many men in our western culture are still acting like boys while living with women who are playing the responsible adult role.

Taking responsibility on mature decisions, budgeting and being responsible for protecting and providing the families finances should be a duty of every man, but more and more often we are passing some of this weight on to our wives/girlfriends.

Bringing vision and direction for the family should be another duty that men delight to take on, a woman who has a man who knows where he and more importantly they are going in life finds great hope and strength from that man. No women is looking for a drifter!

In every area of our lives we should be aiming to grow and develop, I think finances and vision are two of the most vital to leading a family towards a peaceful and secure future.

The tragedy is that when men act like boys in a relationship they force the woman to play the role of a mother (this can come very naturally to some women – especially if they are in a season of child raising) And as my favorite men’s ministry author ‘Ed Cole’ pointed out, this causes a massive problem because you can not make love to your mother!

Unfortunately some women find themselves in that place, they have a partner who is acting like a kid often another child that they need to keep saying no to maybe it’s bad spending habits or cleaning up their immature decision making, it is so sad to think that for these women they are then humiliated within themselves when this adult kid initiates intimacy. It must just seem so wrong for her.

A common reason for women walking out on a relationship is because they don’t want to have to raise their husband in to a man at the same time as they raise the kids.

All single men need to recognize if they are ready for commitment or not, and all of us need to put down any toys or distractions and focus on growing ourselves so that we can lead and guide our wives in particular to a place she is excited and secure about.

Are there things you know are wasting your time? Commit to drop them, break that game in half (it worked for me)

Are there bad decisions that are always causing issues? Be accountable to another man in this area.

Are you growing? Use your time to learn a skill, learn to invest, grow your family, further study.

What ever you put ‘your’ time in to be sure it has a long term pay off.

(image used from http://www.techaddiction.ca)