Father's Heart Blog

Can you choose for your Children?

I believe one of the most important gifts you can give to your children is a blessed marriage, there are a few ways as a Father we can do this, we can do it primarily by modelling it to them, in your own marriage, forever showing unconditional love to their mother, the wife of your youth.

You can also do it by picking an awesome young women for your son (I will explain) and raising a daughter who will so bless your future son in law!

I’m not saying I believe in arranged marriages – although evidence shows that they can last longer and be filled with more love. The reason for this is that love is a choice, when you are placed with someone complimentary to you and you know that you can choose to love them, then marriage can work and thrive as seen so often in the Bible in the traditional Jewish culture.

What I aim to do and to an extent am doing in discipling the young men that I mentor is to guide them to a future wife – to what they should be looking for in a young women. It is a subject that needs to be spoken about openly between Father and Son, Father and Daughter – they need to know that you care and have their best interest at heart in coaching them in this massively important area.

Nothing can be more like heaven or hell on this earth like marriage! We have to set our children up to be blessed and be a blessing.

1 Key Attribute

So the 1 attribute I believe is the most important that God showed me from scripture, far above beauty or charisma is found in the story of Rebekah.

The first time we see her is when she is collecting water, the reason that Abraham’s (Isaac’s Dad) servant knew she was the one to be selected as Isaac’s wife was because she offered to get water for 10 camels as well as for him – even until they had finished drinking! This would have taken a lot of time and a lot of lifting!

She is so keen to help him that she ‘runs’ back to the well to get more water, she was generous again in offering a place for him and his camels to lodge and feed, she then (again) ‘ran’ back home to tell her mothers household of the extra guests!

The point I am trying to make and was blown away by one morning when I was reading this in Genesis 24, is that she was so willing and energetic to be generous and help the stranger. This attribute of GENEROSITY blew me away, I believe if your wife has the Spirit of Generosity you don’t need to worry about much else.

So that is the 1 thing apart from a strong love for Jesus that I tell the young guys they should be looking out for in a future wife.

Generosity rewarded

Most young men first of all think about looks, obviously you want to be attracted to your wife! The thing I love about the story of Rebekah is that the attribute she is known for is her generosity, but she was the Bible says very beautiful!  Her name actually means tying / binding up, implying that her beauty was so great, it could literally captivate or fascinate men.

A major part of that beauty was her willingness to serve, I don’t think it’s impossible to believe that God gave her great physical beauty as she grew because of the generous Spirit that was inside her.

Also I believe when we do become generous people who chose to be a blessing at every opportunity, we become very attractive, even our countenance improves and matures.

Challenge

So that is my challenge to you, on a personal level be more of a Rebekah, run to help when you can!

And when guiding your Sons to what they should be looking out for remind of this very beautiful young women with the generous heart.

In raising daughters, I am going to do all I can to make sure she wants to help and give all that she can!