DEVOTION: 

Verse: 1 Timothy 2:7

I used to have a lot of fear! Even today at 35 I don’t know how I accumulated so much! It was wrapped up in a fear of not being good enough. I have a bit of a melancholy perfectionist temperament and really wanted things planned out and perfect. But life wasn’t as clear, and my future really wasn’t clear and I couldn’t handle that some how.

A lot of the problem stemmed from not knowing what career and uni course to pursue. I was very talented at art but convinced myself this wouldn’t work as a proper career. I knew I definitely didn’t wan’t to go in to my family agricultural business, though now I realise I would of enjoyed the ‘business’ side of things.

So I allowed from 15-19 these issues to become worries and then they became very big fears. And it paralysed me in ways I never would of expected and others wouldn’t either knowing me as a bright fairly positive child. Fears can take you down a road you never elukd of wished to go. But you just don’t see any other way. You feel so powerless. And it’s also really hard to give or receive love when fears are controlling.

Thankfully in my early 20’s I found a power that could make a difference. The drinking, the partying, the girl friends didn’t help, even the travelling the world didn’t entirely help, they covered cracks, but they never fully took away the fears about my future and myself.

Even when I met my future wife in cape Town South Africa, while riding the biggest adventure of my life, living in a township and falling madly in love, there where still these nagging fears back there. I still woke up many mornings wishing I could just carry on sleeping and not wanting to face the day.

But some time in to these adventures in Africa, I met Jesus and asked Him to be my Saviour. And so began a journey with Him of eradicating these fears. Another of my favourite scriptures says… “perfect love casts out all fear!” And so meeting through the Word and the Spirit of God this perfect love. The fears I had, began to be a memory and soon enough a distant memory!

I used to live in what seemed like a real cloud, my thoughts and emotions being governed by fear and dread, self pity and self loathing. But when I gave my life to Jesus and began to learn through His word who I am, and that I am a beloved child of God, I began to grow in love and power. The melancholy nature has become much more assertive and determined more organised, commited and passionate.

The regular adulterer of the past has become a faithful husband and father, that is besotted by his lot in life and the family God has given him.

I have also found my calling, I enjoy every day the role of youth pastor and associate pastor in the Church we have been a part of for 11 years now since moving to Bristol and fear and those clouds I lived under are now even a memory that is hard to recall, it is as if it happened to a different man. And in reality it did, it happened to my ‘old’ man. The old regenerate man, who was not yet alive to the Spirit of God. The one who had a spirit of fear and allowed it to manifest more and more. Now I thank God for each day and the life I delight in living free from fear. Alive to love, power and a sound mind!

APPLICATION:
I remember in the early days of our spiritual walk I and my wife also used to quote this scripture and confess it over ourselves, it would of been one that we’d printed and stuck up in the front room of our first flat. it made a difference! It can for you also…this may be just such a scripture that you need to personalise as well. Go for it! such a blessing a waits you!