We men have a entirely different perspective to sex than women do, and isn’t it so frustrating and perplexing! Most men are ready first thing in the morning last thing at night, pretty much any time, and yet a woman can take a long, long time to ‘get in the mood’.

It’s so amazing how God has created men and women so differently. Most of us men are thinking about sex many times in a day, we see an attractive women and we are instantly stimulated in our minds and alert to it. (I can hear it now from your wife – just renew your mind then) In the pursuit of sexual purity Christian men can go almost crazy trying to ‘change their ways’. It is true that we need to change habits, but we can not fundamentally change who we are and how we are wired!

I listened to Myles Munroe recently teach on the concept that God created man with the purpose of ‘receiving’ love from Him. The man then wanted to give the love that he had received, God created all types of animals for the man, but there was nothing like him to love. And so God made a woman. God created a being just like him, yet different. Adam could now be a ‘giver’ and Eve was to ‘receive his love and respond to Adam’s love.

And so it is many thousands of years later, husbands all around the world are ready and waiting to give love to their wife’s. Especially the eros (sexual) kind of love.

We must and our wife’s must too except that we fundamentally are sexual beings, and God called this ‘good’ (Genesis 2) He saw the pleasure that Adam would of derived from the then naked Eve and he was happy, God encouraged them to enjoy their beautiful surroundings and ‘go forth and multiply!’

When a husband and wife both enjoy their sexual life’s together in a pure and committed way their is almost nothing better in life. It is one of the greatest gifts and pleasures that God has given. Men and women go in search of great highs, escapes and feelings yet it would be hard to match the feeling of mutual sexual oneness in marriage.

As married Christians we also should be a little braver to celebrate the joy of marriage. The world around us wants to shame marriage and commitment. Media / Hollywood / popular attitudes would suggest that one night hook ups are more satisfying, exciting and rewarding than faithful intimacy, but nothing could be further than the truth. We should be proud to celebrate that, certainly to our children, our church family and our friends, we must not let the lie of the enemy in popular culture pervade and tempt away the next generation or even your older friend (or yourself) who is considering an affair!

Sex plays a monumental role in society for good and certainly for ill as well. So many broken homes are a direct result of sexual infidelity. So much pain, trauma and fear is caused by men’s brutality towards women and this is a tragedy that still blights our society.

But also sexual intimacy when enjoyed and working in its proper place can be the bonding that unites a strong couple and fosters a safe, loving, warm and joyful home where children thrive and society can be built upon. In our culture we have to have a right view of ‘Sex’ and every loving wife would do well to consider just how great and God made is this need in her husbands life.

Often wife’s need to realise the genuine need that their husband has. They would benefit from talking more about this and from researching just how much a man thinks about sex and the chemical differences in the way we have been made that creates this ‘always on’ sexual being that sometimes wife’s are at best concerned at and at worst terrified or freaked out about. But -‘get knowledge, get understanding, get wisdom!’ (Proverbs 4) Yes we are different, we are given to one another to compliment one another and to meet one another’s needs.

The legendary marriage marriage book – ‘His Needs Her Needs paints brilliant pictures of how we are to meet one another’s differing needs in marriage. By doing this our ‘love tanks’ are full and our spouse is the only person on earth assigned to and able to meet those needs. If another enters the void over enough time, then an affair is highly possible. Of course the great ‘need’ of the husband is ‘sex’.

For happy healthy marriages and healthy happy families, we would do well to remember the gift of sex. I say this with the confident expectation that husbands will be trying also to meet their wives great needs for affection and intimate conversation ahead of time!