So, AI (Artificial Intelligence) seems to be the talk of the hour, everyone seems to be trying to get ahead in different ways by manipulating AI. There are even podcast interviews now of scientists and doctors warning us not to outsource our brain to Chat GPT, young people particularly today not only wont ever learn to spell, but they also now wont need to think or have the patience and grit to construct anything, even a short blog post like this (no I did)

To explain my title. I love the teaching by Willard F Harley, he has a book called Love Busters and the classic His Needs Her Needs. The teaching is so foundational to understanding the basic needs that husbands have and the basic needs that wife’s have within marriage. For the vast majority of husbands the greatest need that they have and very often a compelling reason that they got married in the first place – was for sexual fulfilment.

This is no great surprise to many people, especially if you’re married and especially if you’re a wife. I believe we married people, especially Christian married couples often don’t exercise enough wisdom when it comes to the basic needs of marriage.

Harleys full list are – Top 5 Needs for Husbands: 1. Sexual fulfilment, 2. Recreational Companionship, 3. Physically attractive spouse, 4. Domestic support, 5 Admiration and Appreciation. Top 5 Needs for the Wife’s 1. Affection, 2. Intimate Conversation, 3. Open and Honest Communication, 4. Financial Support, 5. Family Commitment.

With the at times frightening developments and advances in AI and you have to know there is a huge layer we have not been allowed to see yet. AI in 5 years time will be at a level we can’t yet imagine, some may be excited by this – and there are benefits, but are we prepared? And are our marriages prepared? I’m not just talking about the distraction that new tech and opportunities will provide – pulling us ever away from our spouse and family.

But I am literally talking about AI technology meeting our basic relational and romantic needs. What happens to marital faithfulness when a husband who is ‘desperately needing sexual fulfilment’ resorts to using a lifelike sex bot and does the deed as it where with something / someone else? Of course in desperation he will plead that “this isn’t the same as having sex with another ‘person’” and “it was comparable to masturbation with pornography just 5 years ago”. But I don’t think a hurt and already offended bride will buy that when she finds out, she will still feel betrayed and cheated on.

I am sure that it will not be long before this kind of ‘help’ is released into the marketplace, sadly many young men will see this AI girlfriend option as a far easier option than the real thing. Women will resort further to having children though Artificial Insemination without the need for a man and probably more will resort to lesbianism in there defiance and repulsion towards men. This is a bleak picture; I really hope this sad prediction is wrong – but just look at how far modern man and modern marriage has fallen within one century!

So for those of us who are already married and the strong men who push towards traditional relations, how will we resist temptation? The reality is that we have not done very well in resisting the rise of Pornography. Sadly there would be a high proportion of Christian men that regularly (perhaps once a month or more) struggle with Porn. But how big would that percentage be of Christian men that have never searched for and used Porn? It is probably sadly quite a low percentage. Would that be the same in the future with new technologies? We have to make a stand for purity, before it gets too dark!

My point in thinking about this and writing this, is that yes men do need to take a strong and definite stand now for purity. We also each married couple need to take inventory again of His Needs, Her Needs. Are we doing an adequate job in each need? Or are we excelling in each need? Now and very soon, more than ever every husband and every wife need to get before the Lord in prayer and plead for the grace to love our spouse in the way they need to receive love. Let us protect our marriages, our families and also the reputation of Christ and His institution of marriage on the earth.

What will you do differently today to combat the coming darkness?

Will you serve your spouse to a greater degree?

Will you first seek to serve rather than to be served?